I awoke this morning from a dream where I was deep in the jungle being chased by dissidents.
It seems being the Chairman isn’t all beer and skittles, some people also want to take those beer and skittles away from you.
Upon awakening, two terrible realities hit me: I forgot to mention how Iraq went yesterday; and beach volleyball was on TV.
My Iraqi comrades sculled their way into the C Final. Jesaulenko, you beauty!!
They came an impressive fifth in the repechage after slashing eight seconds off their heat time to finish in 6min52.71secs.
Tomorrow’s challenge for my brave comrades is to face the infidels.
Beach volleyball has about as much right to be at the Olympics as Forbidden Topic No.2 does.
I mean come on, a few beach bums in bathers jumping around in the sand is a pastime not an Olympic sport.
They might as well include darts or underwater extreme ironing.
It’s just a blatant attempt to "sex up" the Games and play seditious rock’n’roll to warp the minds of the proletariat.
When I become Chairman of the IOC my first job will be to swing the axe and trim this excess fat.
My second job will be to appoint Ballarat’s own Steve Moneghetti as Minister for Wellbeing...
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