Mrs Claus holds it all together

It may be a busy time of year for Santa but spare a thought for his long-suffering wife. Every Christmas Mrs Claus is run ragged with a list of duties from keeping everyone at the North Pole including elves and reindeers fed to making sure her husband gets away on time for this worldwide toy run. Despite her hectic schedule, she took time out for a quick chat with ConnectPink's DONNA KELLY.

It must be a crazy time of year for you both?

Tell me about it, dear! And no matter how much we try to do things in advance, it never quite happens. It's probably only me, but I always think in June I might as well start putting a few presents away and then suddenly it's the end of November. And then there's just the sheer logistics of keeping everyone fed and watered. The elves may be small but they certainly like their tucker, and my husband has never been one to knock back a second helping. He had a bit of a health scare a few years back, his blood pressure was 145 over 95, but while I try to add more salad and keep the portion sizes down he's always been a meat and three vegies bloke. And just between us, he loves his venison. Rudolph never knew how lucky he was that year!

How on earth do you keep everyone under control?

Well, it's been long known that behind every successful man is a control freak of a wife. And that's me. I keep the elves in line, I take the reindeers for long walks to keep them at peak performance and I keep Mr Claus focussed on the job at hand. Don't tell anyone, but if he had his way, he would have retired a long time ago. Now I'm not saying anyone missed out, although we do have to enforce the "you've been naughty" rule now and again, but last year he came home with a huge flat screen and the entire boxed collection of "Christmases to remember". He's a real sucker for A Wonderful Life always gets a bit teary. Oh, and only last week I caught him flicking through a campervan catalogue.

The police are really cracking down on drink driving. Do you ever worry about Mr Claus taking the reins with all those complementary drinks on offer during the night?

Dear me, not at all. Mr Claus has never been one to hold his alcohol, always been a cheap date, so he really does just keep to the milk although if I could ask one favour, perhaps people could start pouring skim or low fat? And just between us, if you're wondering where the other liquid refreshments go, just think of Rudolph's red nose.

Have you ever accompanied your husband on his worldwide trip?

Only once. We were still dating many moons ago, and he asked if I would like to ride his sleigh. I told my mother and she was a little worried about what he might have in mind, but I soon found he really just needed an extra hand to hold the reins while he popped down chimneys or leaned back to find the next toy. But I didn't really enjoy the trip. I have never been much good with air travel and we ended up having to stop just outside of Uzbekistan for quite a while until I calmed down. It's a tight schedule each year so Mr Claus put his foot down and said that was the end of my travelling days.

You still managed to catch your man, though.

Mmmmm. I like to think of it as him catching me. And if I do say so myself I was quite a catch in those days. Long blonde hair, blue eyes and never afraid to take part in a bit of dress-up if you know what I mean. Of course, we've all aged a little but Mr Claus still has a twinkle in his eye.

You and Mr Claus don't have children. Was that a conscious decision?

I'm afraid it was one of those "whoops, forgot to have kids" moments. There we were, him focused on his career and me providing the back-up, and then we had a few dramas to deal with like that bullying episode with the reindeers and Rudolph no wonder he drinks and it was all over. But we feel like we have children all over the world who love us just as much. Well, they always want things from us, so that's the same, isn't it? And I guess the elves are also like our children. They do their own thing, answer back, never clean their rooms and now they are mostly grown, they refuse to leave home.

How do you enjoy living at the North Pole?

It's lovely. I don't mind the cold and really, there's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes. I guess the only downside is that I can't have a garden, although I always have pots of poinsettias throughout the house.

Thanks so much for your time. I'd better let you get back to it.

Well, thank you dear. It's always lovely to chat. But you're right, it's gone very quiet outside, which is always a worry. I hope those naughty elves aren't getting up to mischief. They've taken to reindeer-tipping lately and also think it's just hilarious to wake Mr Claus from naps saying "Santa, it's Christmas Eve and you're late". They'll give him a turn one day.

Anyway, Merry Christmas and even though it's not our speciality, Happy New Year too.

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