I will admit, there are probably few people punching the air and crying, "finally, the One Day Series (Nine, 1.30pm) is here!" In today's cricketing landscape, fans fall into two main groups: those who adore the breathless thrashing of Twenty20, and those who prefer the stately drama of the Test match. Not many, if any, reserve their greatest affection for the 50-over format, that which was once seen as hyperactively frenetic, but now sits awkwardly in the middle, like Tests without the tradition and T20 without the excitement.
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Nevertheless, the old-fashioned ODI has something to recommend it at this time. First of all, the series kicks off with Australia vs England, a match-up for which, even without actual Ashes on offer, we can surely always whip up some good red-blooded Aussie hatred. Second, this year's series is a prelude to the World Cup, which is still cricket's premier international tournament, given that the Test championship still hasn't gotten off the ground and the World T20 has yet to gain primacy in the public imagination.
This game will be the first to provide some guide as to how the Australians are likely to fare in the Cup – is the formline promising? Will the Australian line-up, loaded with aggression, pace and men called Mitch, prove world-beaters? Or will they crash to earth like Glenn Maxwell after attempting to play a reverse cover drive while standing on his head? All are intriguing questions.
But most of all, this telecast is worth watching because it's cricket, dammit, and cricket on TV, no matter what format, is preferable to cricket not on TV. How could you not watch it, when missing the game would mean missing out on Ian Chappell telling that story about Dennis Lillee for the 80th time this summer? Can you really run the risk of Shane Warne telling the nation his favourite kind of chip, and not being in front of the telly to hear it? What if the Channel Nine viewers' poll is asking a particularly relevant question, like "how many gloves should a batsman wear?" or "Would you sleep with Ian Healy?". After all, it is an Aussie tradition to sit on the couch and while away a lazy January day wondering why James Brayshaw has a job. It will be a sad day when Australians neglect to honour that tradition.
If you must forego the cricket, though, you'd do well to catch Coraline (7Mate, 7.15pm), a stunningly dark, funny and beautiful stop-motion adaptation of Neil Gaiman's children's book. A girl discovers a gateway to a parallel world where everything is better – but discovers the disturbing designs of her "Other Mother". A clever and resourceful heroine, a truly frightening villain, and some of the most gorgeously sinister visuals you'll ever see, every painstaking frame is a triumph.
