Lina Bausch's son Ben Cole started using drugs when he was 18, however Ms Bausch said he had been exposed to drugs his entire life. 

By the time of his death in 2003, a decade of substance abuse had ravaged Ben's mind, leaving him almost unrecognisable to his mother.

"He was always a beautiful, intelligent young man who did really well at school," Ms Bausch said. 

That quickly changed. Ben became convinced people were trying to kill him and would abuse his girlfriends, locking them in a room. 

Ms Bausch said it was heartbreaking to watch her gentle boy turn into a violent, paranoid addict.

"[Before he became addicted to drugs] he wouldn't even kill a cockroach," she said.

The night before Ben's suicide, he slipped further into his paranoia and became convinced he had AIDS. He spent the night on his computer, researching the symptoms of the virus.

The next day, Mother's Day, while at his paternal grandmother's home, Ben left his family members who were sitting down to eat cake, walked into the kitchen, grabbed a steak knife and locked himself in the laundry.

It was his grandmother who discovered his body, with self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest and neck. The scene was so horrific, Ms Bausch said police initially told her Ben had been murdered. 

Chillingly, Ms Bausch had sent Ben a text message around the same time of his death, worried because he hadn't called her to wish her a happy Mother's Day.

"I had a feeling; a sixth sense something was wrong," she said.

Ms Bausch said she wanted an inquest to determine for sure the circumstances of Ben's death.

She said drugs had robbed her of a family.

"I've missed out on grandchildren. No mother should have to outlive their child. It's the worst thing in the world," she said.

Ms Bausch hopes sharing the story of Ben's death will help others to overcome their addictions or prevent people from trying ice.

"It ruins lives. It's horrible," she said.