I’m finally back in the land of the living after two weeks sailing the Pacific.
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And I’ve got to say, it’s really quite strange seeing nothing but water day after day. How the heck Captain Cook ever stumbled onto Australia I don’t know. It must have been the nautical version of pin the tail on the donkey.
However, out of our holidaying group of nine I discovered I had the best sea legs. The only problem is they’ve followed me home.
I have a bug that has affected my balance and I constantly look like I’m still drinking cocktails at 10am.
(In my defence, I wasn’t on my Pat Malone. Apparently on a cruise ship, an acceptable breakfast is bacon, eggs and any drink with an umbrella in it.)
We had bought the food and alcohol package upfront so all we had to do was wave our cruise ship tags and someone would come running with supplies.
I’ve tried doing the same at home by hopefully waving my necklace around but apparently my girls are channeling Shania Twain and it don’t impress them much.
But we visited some lovely islands. I got to snorkel for the first time ever on Mystery Island. The whole “spit and rinse” the goggles process was a bit unusual but it wasn’t quite as bad as forgetting to put my mouth around the snorkel. I’m no doctor but I’ve got a fair idea where I may have ingested my friendly little parasite.
On Vanuatu, we hired a tour van for a few hours. Our driver Joseph spoke about as much English as I do Swahili – and he clearly thought third gear was a swear word – but it was still very interesting, apart from all the spiders hanging off every tree.
I wanted to buy a vat of duty free napalm but it was a Sunday and all the shops were shut. But my favourite island was Isle of Pines. It had beautiful beaches and buildings and a cool Rastafarian bus driver with hair that clearly had an allergic reaction every time a hairbrush came near it.