8.30am: Take daughter to hospital for a week long procedure which involves being drip fed lidocaine. While she fills in reams of admission forms, I’m googling hospitals that drip feed liquorcaine. 

Daughter put in same ward as very chatty woman. Chatty woman pulls out massive hamper of junk food, Christmas decorations and DVDs. Daughter looks at me like I’m starring in Bad Mums 2. She also telepathically pleads with me to bring ear plugs STAT.

10am: Get to work. As education reporter, VCE results day is my time to shine. Interview several high achievers. Start to feel very intellectually inadequate. Vow to go home and read the dictionary from A to Z and finally work out what angle that Pythagorus dude was coming from.

12.30pm: Arrive back at work to find we’ve all been evacuated due to some sort of weird electrical fault. Luckily my editor has rescued my bag and laptop in my absence – mainly because he knew I was writing most of the paper. He’s also having great trouble breathing.

1pm: Try to work from home. However, very difficult as we have just moved and have no internet. Seriously, we should have a BG and AG – before and after Google. Plus the dog thinks my laptop is its own personal treadmill.

2.30pm: Allowed back in the office but have to work upstairs as downstairs has been declared a breathing free zone. Crammed in like sardines, I continue to write about very high achievers. Vow to go home and read War and Peace.

6pm: Finish work and head back to hospital. Daughter offers me a bite of her gluten free hospital food. Run to kitchen for drink of water. Take five minutes to recover from running. Vow to take up exercise program while reading the Encyclopedia Britannica.

10pm: Go to bed. Fall asl…...