Second wedding tips

IT seems like everyone has an opinion on second weddings: "You shouldn't wear white” or "You shouldn't have such a fancy second wedding". Don't worry - you're older, you're wiser and you've got some experience under your belt – this time should be a snap, right?

Second wedding dresses and attire

The good news is that the old rule about not wearing white for a second wedding has gone out the window. You can wear whatever colour feels and looks good on you.

Most brides getting remarried have already had their ‘white dress’ moment the first time around, and so opt for a more mature look such as a brocade suit or a simple cocktail dress.

However, if you eloped the first time, or simply want to have that princess moment again, there's no reason why you can't.

Ideas for what to wear to a second wedding include

  • A designer dress that you've been salivating over, but couldn't justify its expense – until now.
  • An off-white floor-length sheath dress.
  • A beautiful suit, in any colour.
  • A sexy slip dress.

Announcing your engagement

The very first people you should tell are your children.

You can ask them if they'd rather tell their other parent, or if they prefer that you share the news.

If you have children, you may wish to make them a special part of your second wedding.

Depending on their age, they may be a flower girl, ring bearer, junior bridesmaid or groomsman, or even the best man or maid of honour.

Perhaps they would like to read something during the ceremony, or make a special toast during the reception.

Make sure that they are comfortable with their role. If your children are especially young, you may want to invite their other parent to be there.

Registering and wedding gifts for a second wedding

Rules of etiquette state that gifts are not mandatory for a second wedding. This is because traditionally wedding gifts are to help a couple set up their household, and presumably, second time brides and grooms already have their own households.

However, gifts are now much more common for a second wedding. You can register just as you did for your first wedding.

Bridal showers for a second wedding

For the same reason that wedding gifts aren't always given, bridal showers for a second-time bride are not that common. Your friends may insist on throwing one. If so, look for an unusual theme such as "stock the liquor cabinet" where guests are asked to bring either glassware, bar accessories, or a favourite bottle of liquor.

Who pays for a second wedding?

Typically the bride and groom split the costs of a second wedding evenly. Whether or not they contributed to the costs of your first wedding, you shouldn't expect parents or relatives to chip in. Of course, if they offer, you may accept their help graciously.