The Courtney family have managed to turn the grief of losing a child in to a way to help others going through the same agony they experienced when their son Lucas Alexander was stillborn in July.
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What made their unbearable loss a little easier was a cuddle cot, which allowed them to have Lucas with them for as long as they needed to make memories and say their goodbyes.
Realising that Ballarat Health had only one cuddle cot, the family decided to raise $6000 to buy a second cuddle cot to ensure no family would miss time when they needed it most.
On Monday the family returned to BHS to donate a second cuddle cot to the maternity ward. “I can’t put in to words what it means,” Danielle Courtney said.
“It’s like giving back to them so they know how much we appreciate what they did for us. If anyone else was in our situation and didn’t get access to a cuddle cot, it would be another heartbreaking thing on top of what they are already going through.”
The cot gives parents as much time as they need to say goodbye, and to allow siblings and relatives to spend time with the baby. It’s important that parents don’t feel rushed. It’s not all over once the baby is born, that’s when everything really starts and give them the time they need with the baby before they leave.
- BHS director of midwifery Carolyn Robertson
A cuddle cot is a cooling system fitted in to a small cot which allows babies who have passed away to stay with their family.
Danielle and husband Josh kept Lucas with them for five days, giving his siblings Xavier, 4, and Charlotte, 2, a chance to spend time with him and for their families, many of whom live interstate, to meet the much-loved little boy.
“We got to make some memories and do it in our own time. Not being able to keep him with us would have … traumatised us even more,” Mr Courtney said when The Courier first spoke to the family in August.
BHS director of midwifery Carolyn Robertson welcomed the cot donation. “We have had one for several years and we have found it very beneficial,” Dr Robertson said.
“The cot gives parents as much time as they need to say goodbye, and to allow siblings and relatives to spend time with the baby. It’s important that parents don’t feel rushed. It’s not all over once the baby is born, that’s when everything really starts and give them the time they need with the baby before they leave.”
Dr Robertson said a second cot would ensure if two families lost their babies at the same time, both families could have use of a cuddle cot.
”The fact that Josh and Danni got on to this so early in their grief journey is a real testament to them. To be thinking of others and other families in such a horrible time in their life, probably the worst time of their life, speaks volumes.”
In recognition of the six babies stillborn in Australia every day, Mr Courtney aims to run 2200km before Lucas’ birthday on July 17 and attract sponsorship for every kilometre run.
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“There are six stillbirths a day, which works out to 2200 a year and I’m going to try to run 1km for each and have people sponsor me. I’d like to get $2 for every kilometre.”
The Legging it for Lucas challenge has so far covered almost 600km.
Now that their initial goal of $6000 for the cot has been met, the couple will donate future funds raised toward charities supporting other families suffering through stillbirth.
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