THE vision of a red stop sign near his childhood home in South Australia is as much comfort as Andrew Aiden has had in his life.
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
Mr Aiden visited Ballarat on Saturday to join dozens in tying ribbons on the fence of St Paul's Anglican Parish in support of abuse victims of the Anglican church, which many say have become lost in the attention received by the Catholic church.
It comes one week after ribbons tied on the fences outside the St Paul's were removed, however after discussions with the church hierarchy, have now been given permission to display them permanently.
For Mr Aiden, who suffered childhood abuse at the hands of the Anglican Church in South Australia, the support is overwhelming.
"For me, this is one of the first Anglican churches - certainly in a major Victorian centre - that has allowed these ribbons to be tied without them being taken off," he said.
"For me, red signifies my favourite colour throughout my life, because at the end of my street at Whyalla, we had a red stop sign. I thought as a child it meant that the reverend would stop coming into my house and that would mean I would be able to stop going to where he is, stop going to church, because I knew what would happen to me if I went there. I thought a stop sign would mean I wouldn't have to go Sunday school, to religious instruction, but of course it meant none of that.
"I had red carpet in my bedroom because it meant stop, a red bean bag, a red bedspread, a red table cloth on my desk, but no matter what I did it never stopped.
"I now wear something red every day of my life and I'll never stop."
Mr Aiden said the Anglican church had just as much to answer for as the Catholic church.
"The same person abused my mother, myself, my eldest brother, we think caused a pregnancy in my eldest sister, in part it caused the death of my grandmother and the death of my sister," he said.
"The Anglican church owe a lot of people more than a ribbon. To some degree, the Catholics are getting a lot of attention, but I'm very active in saying, you think the Catholics are bad for abuse, and they are, but wait until you hear the rest of the stuff that has yet to come out in relation to the Anglican church, It'll make the Catholics look like a Sunday School picnic."
St Paul's Parish director Sister Elisa-Helen CSC said after conversations with Mr Aiden and others including Loud Fence Convenor Maureen Hatcher, the ribbons would now be permanent
"We started having ribbons on our fence before Christmas and we left them there for a while, but some people in the parish were finding it difficult as they saw it as an accusation against our church," Sister Elisa-Helen said.
"Last Sunday afternoon we met Andrew, it started as an interesting conversation at first, but the more we discussed. we realised that this was being done for us to support them and care for them, so we thought we'd do something very positive, rather than a negative and we decided to let's do this all together."
"It's been wonderful really, it's a very positive thing and it's being accepted for what we are trying to say in that we care for them, we are concerned for wellbeing and are happy to stand with them.
"Abuse has happened in all types of places, including the Anglican Church. We haven't been innocent. This church has some deep history of it.
"I feel the church is doing a lot, we are strongly working on changing culture, safe practices, we are getting educated. We are not anywhere near far enough yet, and it's taking a lot of time, but we are working hard."
Loud Fence convenor Maureen Hatcher said the Anglican story is very similar to the Catholic story.
"I don't think they've really had their day yet," she said.
"Child sexual abuse sadly is not going away and we need people to keep talking about it and the ribbons help that conversation.
"People don't always understand what the ribbons mean, they see it as a bit of decoration or a protest, but they mean more than that, they help people to have a voice and I think it's all part of it."
Ms Hatcher said she was thrilled for former St Patrick's headmaster John Crowley who was appointed head of St Kevin's school after allegations against the school this week.
"If anyone's going to change a culture in a school then John will. I have messaged him and I congratulate him," she said.
If you or someone you know is in need of crisis support, phone Lifeline 13 11 14.
Help is also available, but not limited, via the following organisations. The key message is you are not alone.
beyondblue 1300 224 636 or beyondblue.org.au
Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467
Mensline: 1300 789 978 or mensline.org.au
Survivors of Suicide: 0449 913 535
Relationships Australia: 1800 050 321
headspace Ballarat (for 12-25s and parent support): 5304 4777
Soldier On: 1300 620 380
Ballarat Community Health: 5338 4500
QLife: 1800 184 527 (Support for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex people)
Family violence: 1800 RESPECT
Have you signed up to The Courier's daily newsletter and breaking news emails? You can register below and make sure you are up to date with everything that's happening in Ballarat.