"Ballarat, you are in for something ridiculous." That was the promise as Nitro Circus rolled into town - and performers delivered in spades on the first stop of their 2020 Australia tour.
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Wave after wave of contraptions, each crazier than the last, shook, rattled and rolled down the "Giganta" ramp, the towering centrepiece of Mars Stadium on Saturday night.
"Ballarat, do you want to see a tractor go down this thing?"
It turns out we did.
It also turned out we also wanted to see rollerskates, a kayak, a lazy boy sofa, a sheep on wheels - what else? - and much else besides - do the same thing.
For good measure there was even a mobility scooter that made a Leap Day jump in front of spectators at a fixture unlike any ever seen at this stadium before.
We basked in the late summer sun to the sound-track of high-octane music, relentless banter and gravity-defying revs.
The wise-cracking comperes - one American, one Australian - blazed through the stunt lingo as the sequence of improbable vehicles, as well as scooters, skateboards, BMXs and dirtbikes, did equally improbable things in front of us.
It is a baffling language to the uninitiated, full of tail whips, rollbacks, flat spins and other strange phrases unlikely to be heard again in these parts for a while.
Ballarat, are you ready for a piggy back flip?
"Ballarat, are you ready for a piggy back flip?" This was where Jackass met BMX bandits and Evel Knievel.
For all the absurdity, there was also no doubting the talent and courage of the 25 performers, one as young as 12.
They are referred to as athletes, and with their plunging down the 54-foot high Giganta ramp - higher than the Mars Stadium roof - who could argue?
VIDEO: Why not a kayak? Why not indeed?
"With no roof there are no limits," the tour strapline goes. Although some may find negotiating the ramp in a beer keg restricting (yes, that happened too).
Arguably the only thing more intimidating than the height of the ramp was the queue for the merch and food stalls at the interval.
Beyond the rich variety of contraptions, there was a face-off between the stunt riders of Australia and USA, with a crowd-sourced result that perhaps didn't do justice to those bearing the stars and stripes.
We were also treated to the Nitro Bomb, with all athletes in the air at once, followed by several incarnations of the "Nitro Train" where a succession of dirt bikes and BMXs copied each other's outrageous stunts.
The show took a slightly more serious edge towards the end as the athletes paraded a spectacular sequence of their "best tricks" and the show hurtled towards a finale.
"The most epic thing of 2020", one of the comperes reckoned in typically understated fashion.
"Pretty awesome," the eight-year-old in our group agreed.
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