Cummins creates history, can bowl a bit, too … the 20:13 express from Manly to Belmore arrives early … Woods trounced by Williams, er, Scott … Warne v MacGill? We're gonna party like it's 1999 … Socceroos struggle through to the World Cup qualifying final stage … time to take Sydney FC seriously … RIP the Tendulkar of the typewriter, Peter Roebuck.REVELATIONS
Here's a way to make sure your country improves at sport: make it compulsory. It would certainly be a way to help Australia's ailing cricket stocks, although in Armenia they think chess is the worthy pursuit. Between seven and nine, children will have to participate in mandatory classes that will ensure no lifelong agonies over whether a rook or bishop is more valuable. Education Minister Armen Ashotyan is convinced the former Soviet republic is one step ahead of the rest of the planet. ''We hope that the Armenian teaching model might become among the best in the world,'' Ashotyan said. We wait with bated breath to see whether there will be an all-Armenian final in the 2022 world chess championships. If so, we're predicting a global stampede towards enforced sport.PREMONITIONS
Talk about getting your excuses ready before a ball has even been kicked. Check out this headline from the Daily Mail: ''Blow for England as Aussie ref is appointed to officiate Four Nations final with Australia.'' Let's not forget the Kangaroos have already trounced England 36-20 just a fortnight ago - with Henry Perenara, a Kiwi (who must therefore hate Australia), in charge. For what it's worth, we think Matt Cecchin will do a fine job.ROEBERS REMEMBERED
Many words were dedicated to the memory of Peter Roebuck this week, all of them fitting, all of them fabulously recounting the nature of one of this newspaper's most beloved contributors. Of all the ripping tales that came to light, it was hard to choose one. But this beauty from Greg Baum's column on Monday stood out: ''He was warm in his own way. Speaking to Fairfax's Chloe Saltau one day, he pointed to Shane Brown, the MCC's communications manager, and said: 'He has a nice face. You should marry him.' She did.''
NAME A GAME
Derbies generally mean a contest between two local teams from the same city, but that hasn't stopped the A-League from handing out the moniker to some far-fetched affairs: think the ''Big Blue'' (Melbourne Victory versus Sydney FC), the ''F3 Derby'' (Newcastle versus Central Coast) and, oddly, the ''Distance Derby'' (Perth versus Wellington). However, Sydney versus Central Coast has never attracted a name, despite the two regions virtually touching each other. We asked this week for some responses. ''El City-Beach Classico'', ''Neal-Della Bosca Trophy'', the ''Iguana Derby'', the ''Second Mortgage Derby'' and ''Stuck-on-the-F3 Derby'' were some of the suggestions, but we'd like one we could actually use without getting sued. The ''Retirement Derby'' has a grain of truth but we think the ''Commuter Derby'' is the one everyone can use. Kick-off is 7:45 tonight at the SFS.BOOKIES' BEST
A-League: Brisbane Roar to defeat the Newcastle Jets - $1.80
''Can Brisbane make it 34 unbeaten games in a row? Yes. The Jets are coming off a 3-0 hiding from the struggling Heart and simply won't be able to compete with Brisbane's firepower up front.''
- Ben Hawes, sportsbet.com.auIT'S NOT PORN BUT YOU'LL LIKE IT
What would it have been like if John Aloisi missed the penalty against Uruguay that put Australia through to the World Cup finals in 2006? Wonder no more. He's re-enacted the famous moment with what can only be described as a slightly different outcome. Melbourne Heart football director John Didulica in goal, with club football manager Ben Coonan offering the commentary. Search for ''John Aloisi penalty, alternate ending'' at YouTube.com.GET ME MY CAB MONEY
Zucc's surefire winner in the last: Despite being a slow starter, moody sprinter Right Amount (box six) has more ability than most of his rivals and will be flashing home at the finish in the final event at Wentworth Park greyhounds tonight.IF YOU'RE NOT WATCHING SPORT, YOU SHOULD BE LISTENING TO …
Sonic Youth. The mighty New Yorkers may have played their last gig, so take one from their self-titled debut through to The Eternal. Takes a teenage riot to get me out of bed right now. - Ears McEvoyUSELESS TRIVIA
It's been more than five months since we had an NBA match, that being on June 12, when the Dallas Mavericks defeated the Miami Heat. The lockout continues, and could drag on until 2012.