Ballarat's Rob Olston pens letter before death

Even as he faced the certainty of his own death, former Ballarat Grammar teacher Rob Olston maintained a positive outlook on life.Rob died last week after a battle with prostate cancer. Before he succumbed, he penned this letter, which his wife Dianne has asked The Courier to publish to share his message with the wider community.AS I had anticipated, there comes a time when one is told that there is only two to three months of life to go.So thinking positively, one adapts.What were five-star days in the early times of diagnosis become five star hours.Immediate needs become urgent and one focuses on ensuring that all is in order for one’s departure.Palliative care is central for relief of pain, and comfort for all is important.Once again, the medical attention in Ballarat is first class with parties being sensitive and caring, from specialists in urologist Dr David Cook, radiologist Dr Andrew See and palliative care doctor Dr David Brumley through to the radiotherapists, to receptionists and the volunteers Norma and Jan at BAROC and Gandarra.All seem to have time to listen, to share a thought, to offer a word of counsel.Nurses such as Sharon and Leanne at Ballarat Hospice offer reassurance in our own house and are available for after-hours support.Counsellors in BAROC’s Jill and Mary and Grammar, Peter, provide valuable ears and advice.Being subsequently confined to bed, Di and I arrange for visits for friends and workmates.To make conversation easier in what some may see as anawkward situation, I have a pattern of questions — How are your children? What are you doing for Christmas? What do you think of the cricket?Such starters avoid silences for the visitor can hardly ask how are you going, have a happy New Year, hope you get better . . .Time is also spent saying one’s last goodbyes, reassuring loved ones that despite the circumstances, I really do feel at peace and that one has no fears about the afterlife and that one departs hopefully with no residual ill-will towards or from others.One of the advantages I guess in a lingering illness is that one has the opportunity to say goodbyes, to resolvemisunderstandings and to express gratitude to so many.So thank you to the Ballarat community.There are many advantages of living in a community for 40 years because in a crisis, networks and friendships come to the fore.Acquaintances become friends, neighbours become centres of support, work colleagues become loved friends.If nothing else, my illness has deepened my belief in thecentrality of human relations which are the essence of life and being.My hope is to leave this world worn out, as Mae West once said.I would hope to leave the world exhausted, having used up purposefully all my tickets, having spent all the petrol in the tank, having squeezed every last drop out of life.May you also get the best out of your lives.Goodbye and thank you.A note from Rob’s wife, Di:My family and I wish to add that we are so grateful for the loving care that Rob received at Gandarra Palliative Care Unit in his last few weeks.They looked after him with compassion and dignity in his time of greatest need.Thank you.