AS BALLAN Bowling Club's greenkeeper, Hamish Asker knows the playing surface like the back of his hand, but he is not giving away its secrets."I'm not allowed to say that; they'll shoot me," he said. "There's always quirks in the green and even I can't handle some of the ones in this one. "But that's the way it goes."He is in his second stint as greenkeeper, and has always been busy working around the club."I've worked on the green off and on for the last 10 or 12 years," Asker said."I've held the president's position, the treasurer's position .th.th. the only position I haven't held is secretary because I hate it."He even enjoyed his two years as selector. "There's only one way to sum up selection - you can't keep everyone happy, and it's easier to nail jelly to the ceiling."And before any selectors out there start reaching for your hammers, it might be easier to get a stronger chin, or a bushy beard like Asker. "As every bowling club knows, you can select the best side in the world and everyone's still a critic. "We do our best with what we've got and you've just got to take it on the chin after that."He feels his work helped him cope with the rigours of selection."I work at Ballarat University, I'd never let this place worry me. "I'm in control of all the cleaners from all the campuses ... (so compared to) whatever they throw at me, this place is a breeze."And despite "holding up the ladder" this year, Ballan breezed through the divisions in what Asker recalls as great times for the club."Division five won two premierships in a row ('96/97 and '97/98) and division seven played off in two grand finals, which they were runner-up in, and the third final they actually won. "So that period was a highlight because ... everything clicked for those three years."We had good sides, good mateship and good camaraderie."And if the 50-year-old ever got ahead of himself during those glorious days, there was a green waiting to bring him back down to earth."This piece of grass out here is the biggest leveler in the world. "You can think you're the best bowler in the world and walk up to someone else's green and you can't handle it. "And that's when you come down to your character. "You either hold your temper or lose your temper. "A bloke said to me - he's long gone now, Col Woodroffe - I was practising, he said, `There's one thing about bowls Hamish. You've gotta learn to lose before you can learn to win.' "And to me that sums up every sport now ... if you're a good loser, you're a gracious winner. "But if you can lose well and still have a beer and a talk with your opposition, that's half the battle."Weather permitting, Ballan's past president will be continuing that battle at Smeaton tomorrow.