IT DOESN’T matter if yours is straggly with bits of food in it, or a resplendent manicured mane, à la Khal Drogo.
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Every beard is beautiful in Johann Beardraven’s eyes.
The singer of hit novelty band The Beards, Beardraven says while the band will stay together and produce the odd release “down the track”, they are giving a farewell to touring for good.
The band feels it’s achieved what it set out to do with music – and also feels like it has had massive success in flying the bearded flag.
But hipsters, bush tucker men, cave folk and all other bearded blokes in Ballarat will have one final chance to see their whiskered idols live in concert this month.
Beardraven said the band felt it had given the world a huge service in contributing – or perhaps being solely responsible – for the resurgence in beard culture.
“I feel like we’ve contributed wholly to their success, it’s all us. And we’re taking full credit,” he said.
“We’ll certainly still be active as beard campaigners in the bearded community, but as far as touring we needed a break.”
Beardraven said he wasn’t concerned whether or not beards were fully or partially connected with hipster culture and its associated fashions.
“We didn’t really think about the blazers and the skinny jeans, we were just concerned with the beards,” he said.
“I’m quite happy for you to wear nothing as long as you have a big bushy beard. That’s what I would do, but I keep getting arrested.”
He said each beard was special and unique in its own way. But is there any face a beard just doesn’t suit?
“No. No. Definitely not,” Beardraven said.
“Beards look good in every single situation on every single face.
“I’ve never seen a beard I don’t like. If I did see a beard I didn’t like, I’d have to rethink my whole shtick. A straggly beard with bits of food in it is still beautiful in our eyes, as is a well-maintained hipster beard.”
He also bristled away suggestions that the day of the beard was coming to an end.
“Propaganda, propagated by the shaving companies,” he said.
“That is rubbish. Now that beards are back, we don’t believe they’ll ever leave again. We see it as a step in the evolution of the human race.
“It’s now something we’ve discovered we do well. It would be like going back to not having internet.”
The Beards aren’t completely sure what’s next for them, but are tossing around ideas of starting their own religious movement or an armed military unit.
The Beards will perform at Karova Lounge on June 23. Tickets available at www.karovalounge.com
