Head honchos with a twist

But I think we all felt Armageddon was counting down the sleeps after Donald Trump was elected United States president.

After all, this is the dude who said “you can never be too greedy” and “my Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth”.

One, he is now in charge of the federal treasury so they’d want to balance those books very damn carefully because POTUS clearly likes the spondoolies.

And two, if this guy can make people confess in 140 characters, imagine what truths he could get to the bottom of at Guantanamo Bay?

But I think the problem with the US election was the voters didn’t seem to really want either option. It was like they had to choose between Joffrey and Cersei and they went with the vicious idiot over the ruthless manipulator. 

But it’s not the first time an unusual choice has been made head honcho of a country. Former Turkmenistan president Saparmurat Niyazov banned beards on men, make-up on TV anchors, tobacco and lip-synching. Clearly Britney Spears and Milli Vanilli didn’t dare tour Turkmenistan.

Rafael Trujillo, the former dictator of the Dominican Republic, made his three-year-old son a colonel and spent $30 million on a year long party to crown his daughter queen. That makes the fact Trump’s 10-year-old son Barron has an entire floor of Trump Tower to himself look like super strict parenting.

Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi, on gaining power, expelled all Italians from the country and Mobutu, former dictator of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, banned all leopard print hats.

I can sympathise with Mobutu because leopard print only belongs on the Real Housewives but Italians?

Is Gaddafi a secret Garlic-ist?