THE final, brutal hours of her mother's life haunt Belinda Teh but are the driving reason why she wants to get more people talking.
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Belinda will walk into Ballarat on Thursday afternoon carrying a white rose - her mum's favourite - on her journey from the steps of parliament house in Victoria to those of her hometown Perth.
The 27-year-old is determined to spark a change in end-of-life laws across Australia, three weeks out from Victoria's assisted dying laws coming into effect.
This was a conversation her mother Mareia, a devout Catholic and experienced nurse, sought to have twice in the last weeks of her life. Twice Mareia was rejected because it was not legal.
Instead, Belinda watched her mum's undignified, "nightmare" death play out, 11 weeks after a metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. Mareia was 63 years old.
"I didn't really talk to my friends about what happened to mum at first. Then, I realised my friends are young, progressive and clued up on social issues. None knew a bill had passed to allow assisted dying in Victoria," Belinda said.
I really want to make people aware and say, 'hey guys - did you know this is happening on the other side of the country'.
Belinda feels compelled to share this intimate final chapter with others, knowing it strips away dignity while at the same time aware this was exactly why she had to tell all to make a difference.
Belinda breaks her mother's pain journey into four stages.
- Mareia had chronic back pain she had long thought was related to her work until her immune system started breaking down.
- After diagnosis, Mareia was admitted to hospital. Her back pain made it hard to walk and doctors found a growing tumour had fractured two vertebrae. Mareia underwent a series of invasive tests and started chemotherapy while doctors sought the primary cancer.
- A month later, Mareia was told she had weeks to live. Chemotherapy was killing her and she was moved to a hospice. Mareia was in discomfort lying down unable to walk and crippled by back pain. She was nauseous, incontinent and fatigued. This was when she asked for a way to die.
- In the final hours of her life, Mareia was heavily sedated but this would only last in 25-minute bouts. In between, Mareia was twitching and her breath was laboured. Her eyes would roll in different directions.
"One of her eyes looked straight at me and I could tell she knew what was going on," Belinda said.
"...Mum (had known) exactly what she had been asking for when she asked for assisted dying. It was a very informed choice. The conversation was over in a few seconds and I think of the psychological distress this caused her to have that strong feeling of rejection."
Belinda said in countries with well-established assisted dying laws, those who enacted the option were quite small in number compared to those who first initiated the conversation.
But Belinda wants people like her mum to be able to have the conversation - to have options.
Belinda said there had to be a better way.
Earlier this year, Belinda started collaborating with Andrew Denton and the Go Gentle Australia campaign to spark change with her walk.
You can follow Belinda's journey at belindasbravewalk.org or on her Facebook page.
Look out for her walking through Ballarat, white rose in hand. Belinda is happy to walk and talk.
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