The pain is etched in Gravy Spot owner Sadiq Taimori's voice as he talks about seeing in 2022 without his family.
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It is more than 10 years since he saw his wife Razia and children Mahdi, 18, Hadia, 17, and Eleyas, 13.
The family are in hiding in Kabul, having fled their home in Bamyan, in central Afghanistan, when the Taliban began re-taking parts of the country earlier this month in August.
Despite repeated pleas and applications to the immigration department and through Ballarat federal MP Catherine King's office for emergency visas and evacuation out of the troubled country, there is still no real avenue to get them to Australia.
Although desperate to be reunited, Mr Taimori's thoughts now are only for their safety and he would be satisfied if they managed to leave Afghanistan, even if they did not get to Australia.
"At the moment I just want them to come out of Afghanistan. Even if they don't get to Australia I just want them to be safe.
At the moment I just want them to come out of Afghanistan, even if they don't get to Australia. I just want them to be safe, that's enough.
- Sadiq Taimori
"I will pay as much as it will cost just to get them out to another country."
He speaks to them two or three times a day via the internet, thankful that it has not been cut off.
"Unfortunately nothing is happening. It's just waiting, waiting and we don't know what is going to happen next. All of my kids have got anxiety because of everything and they are worried when the fighting will start again," Mr Taimori said.
His hope is that becoming an Australian citizen could speed up their application.
Mr Taimori was overjoyed to learn recently he had been granted Australian citizenship.
"I am becoming an Australian citizen on Australia Day in Ballarat," he said. "I'm happy, but still kind of hopeless for my family, but still kind of hopeful that after I get citizenship I might see my family because we can start a new (immigration) process."
Because of the harsh winter in Afghanistan the worst of the fighting has temporarily stopped but once the weather warms slightly the conflict will continue.
While Mr Taimori's children, unlike previous generations in Afghanistan, grew up with relative freedoms the life they knew has been shut down under Taliban rule and strict Sharia law.
The Taliban initially promised to honour women's rights, access to education and other freedoms when they returned to power in August, it came as little surprise that they did not keep to their word.
Now the family spend all their time indoors, the teens playing computer games and spending time on the internet.
"It's a tough time and my son and daughter are not in good health," he said. "My daughter has stomach problems and is most of the time in pain. My son had surgery two or three years ago on his throat and now he's complaining that there's something like a small ball in his throat that is painful.
"It's crazy. What kind of a dad am I if I can't do anything? I'm here in good conditions but my kids and family over there are struggling."
I'm here in good conditions but my kids and family over there are struggling.
- Sadiq Taimori
Mr Taimori said even if they could get medical help, most of Afghanistan's doctors have fled the country.
Mr Taimori fled Afghanistan 10 years ago. He was a target of the Taliban because of his work with the Afghan Independent Human Rights Commission and it was during a work trip, when he and colleagues were stopped at a Taliban checkpoint within sight of a government checkpoint just weeks after the Taliban had murdered a local governor, that he realised his life was in danger.
He went home and immediately began preparations to leave.
There have been a few flickers of hope that Mr Taimori's family might be evacuated, but each has been cruelly extinguished before plans were firmed.
A friend's wife and family were granted emergency visas and evacuated to Australia and it was hoped Mr Taimori's family would too, but they were not and he does not know why.
His wife and eldest son managed to get passports but not his youngest two children who have recently applied again but not heard if they were successful.
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Even if they do manage to get passports there are no international flights out of Afghanistan except evacuation flights organised by other countries.
"I really can't do anything and most of the time I feel like I'm not going to be able to see them again and maybe I will lose them."
Now he fears his children will be kidnapped and there is particular concern about his daughter as the Taliban take young women to forcibly marry to their fighters.
There is also the misconception that he is wealthy because he is in Australia.
"They don't have anyone to protect them," he said.
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