Catching up at the Ballarat Vietnam Veterans Association last month, about 20 of them, sitting around a big table, exchanged stories about their time in the conflict and the challenges of returning home to civilian life.

Anzac Day gives them and other former and current defence force personnel and their families the chance to reflect on their journeys.

Many of those that went over to Vietnam were conscripted. They were about 21 years old, a couple of them a little bit older.

Australia's involvement in the conflict began in July and August of 1962. It formally ended on January 11 1973, although a platoon of combat troops remained in the country guarding the Australian Embassy in Saigon until June of that year.

521 Australians died in the war while 3,000 were wounded.

All up 60,000 Australians served.

Their return was not how they imagined. There are countless tales of soldiers being abused, called rapists and baby killers as well as being treated like second class citizens upon their return.

Attitudes began to change in the 1980s, importantly around the time of the Welcome Home parade in Sydney in 1987.

Tens of thousands of soldiers lined up and marched to the cheers from everyday Australians.

Some veterans were expecting to be shouted at once again and have objects thrown at them, but they were shocked at the warm reception.

"Out of that, we gained some confidence to get out in the community," one Ballarat veteran said.

"Occasionally you'll still get someone say something nasty."

This is just one example of what life was like for the thousands of soldiers returning home from the war.

One of those soldiers is Phil Jones.

Born and raised in Ballarat, Phil was conscripted and had turned 21 years-old just months before he flew out in June of 1969.

He was a mechanic in the 17th Construction Squadron, Royal Australian Engineers.

"We worked on dozers, scrapers, front end loaders...if you really drew the short straw - tip trucks," he said.

The squadron also cleared land and later built bridges and roads.

He was in Vietnam for a year before returning home in 1970.

While over in Vietnam, Phil received a letter from a stranger by the name of Helen after his mum asked if anyone around town to see if anyone would like to write to him.

Helen was reluctant to send the first one though. A colleague, who was a friend of Phil's family, managed to slip the scrunched-up envelope in the mailbox after the contents of Helen's handbag fell out one day.

"I'm thinking this bloke's going to think this person's off her tree." Helen said.

Ten days later, she received a reply. They wrote to each other for six months before meeting for the first time when Phil returned.

"These letters kept going backwards and forwards...my father was questioning me (as to) who I was getting a letter from because they used to come with a blue and red thing around the edge," Helen recalled.

"I used to have to hide the letters."

They married in 1973, 49 years ago last Thursday.

But it hasn't been easy. Phil suffers from post-traumatic stress.

It often presented challenges in the house as their children were growing up.

"There were times when I would have to say to the kids 'just tread very carefully, you've got to keep the noise down'," Helen said.

"He would have nightmares; he would get up and walk around and anything could have happened."

Helen finally called a Vietnam veterans counselling service, after having a number on the fridge for a few years. It was a call that would finally get Phil on the right track.

"I said, 'I cannot do this anymore. I need some help and I need it now', " she said.

"Probably within an hour there were two people. A woman and a man walked down the driveway. I don't know what they said to Philip out in the backyard, but he came in a lot calmer than what he was."

From there he was taken to Ward 17 at the Heidelberg Repatriation Hospital which looks after outpatients recovering from PTSD and a range of other mental health issues.

"It literally changed our lives." Helen said.

The psychological problems are not the only issues the Jones family faced.

They had instances of birth deformities within their family. These are thought to have been linked to the various herbicides and pesticides sprayed during the war.

"We've got two grandchildren with club foot, known as talipes. Yes there are a lot of people born with talipes but the incidence of veteran's descendants with talipes is very high," Helen said.

Phil and Helen's children all had problems, including fragile bones, scoliosis, and twisted fingers.

One also had four extra tumours removed from the front of her body.

Australians were not physically involved in the spraying of these chemicals, but they did indirectly come into contact with them through the consumption of water and food.

The Australian Government at the time first denied Australian troops were exposed to chemicals in Vietnam, but considering contrary evidence, it retracted its position.

It's thought many illnesses that veterans and their families have been diagnosed with including cancers, birth defects and fertility issues (to name a few) have been caused by exposure to the various chemicals, although it has not formally been recognised in Australia.

Concerns were first raised about the issue in the 1970s. In 1985 a Royal Commission on the Use and Effects of Chemical Agents on Australian Personnel in Vietnam found there was no link between the defoliants sprayed in Vietnam and health problems suffered by veterans. But it did admit the existence of some health issues from the anti-malarial drug Dapsone.

Commissioner Justice Phillip Evatt tabled a nine-volume 3,000-page report and blamed the problems faced by the veterans on 'acute stress'.

"Service in Vietnam has not and will not cause cancer amongst veterans." the report said.

Despite the finding, the Vietnam Veterans Association of Australia (VVAA) lobbied hard and helped get PTSD recognised. This helped veterans gain access to medical support and compensation.

Although the defects have not been confirmed as being caused by chemicals sprayed during the war, Helen said Vietnamese people have no doubt in their minds that it caused severe deformities in adults and children over there.

"For a long time, Philip blamed himself when the kids were born," Helen said.

"It was one of the therapists that he has a lot of faith in said to him 'well, did you make the decision to drop those chemicals over there? How could it possibly be your fault?'. "

In dealing with so many problems, Phil and Helen said the government is providing the facilities for people to go to, but the hard part is getting there in the first place.

Helen believes the process to be recognised for problems such as being Totally and Permanently Incapacitated from the Department of Veterans' Affairs needs to be easier.

In 1990 she stepped in on and took up the fight for her husband. Phil's application was rejected because of a report from a psychiatrist who the department selected for him to talk to as a part of the process.

"Philip or any person is not going to go into someone they don't know within half an hour, tell them their life story and their issues. It doesn't happen," Helen said.

"The whole system of how they do that is wrong. Still to this day, as far as I know."

"When a veteran, irrespective of what role he's played and in part of the services he is, when he comes home give him or her absolutely everything that they need in every form."

Helen was determined to fight for Phil, as he was unable to on his own because of injuries he suffered while serving.

"They said he was 80 per cent incapacitated. Well, it was more than that because he was unable to work."

She went to Melbourne to face a board to try and explain what they were going through. Helen said.

Finally, in October 1997, seven years after the fight began, Phil was finally recognised as being Totally and Permanently Incapacitated. He broke down and wept upon reading the confirmation letter in the orange envelope.

Without Helen's commitment, Phil said his life would have been totally different.

"I wouldn't be here," he said.

"I'd have done some damage to somebody."

Importantly Phil and Helen's story is shared as a Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicides continues.

It has received more than 1,400 submissions so far.

"Defence acknowledges there is always more to be done to address these critical issues," a line in the Introductory Defence Briefing said.

"Defence welcomes the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide as an opportunity to examine, learn from and strengthen our approach to support the mental health and welfare of our people. We are committed to being open and transparent to support positive health outcomes for serving and ex-serving ADF members."

So, what do Ballarat's Vietnam veterans think needs to be done to help them deal with the struggles they still face?

For those in positions of power to listen.

"Look how long it took us to get PTSD, for example, and accept it as a condition," one member said.

"If it wasn't for the Vietnam vets, it wouldn't be there. We fought for years for that, among other things.

If they would listen...we might have saved a few of the younger blokes from the suicides."

Echoing calls for the system to be fixed is Andrew Hamilton, a veteran of nearly 28 years. He served in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

Andrew volunteers at the Ballarat Veterans Assistance Centre and said without ex-service organisations being around, many current and former soldiers would be struggling to gain financial and medical assistance from the government and the Department of Veterans' Affairs.

He said the process of being able to claim compensation and receive recognition for illness and injuries is too clunky and can cost veterans valuable time.

"It is quite literally 'you've got to do it yourself ', " he said.

"So, without an advocate there that knows all the bits and pieces it's very hard to get through."

New BVAC president Steve Plowright said the organisation, which was an initiative from the Military Brotherhood Motorcycle Club, gives ex-service personnel the chance to talk to others in a similar position.

"They're quite often asking for assistance in dealing with DVA," he said.

"We have an advocate who can advise them on filling in forms...a lot of people don't know what they're eligible for, that's the problem."

Both Andrew and Steve believe the integration between the forces and the DVA could be improved.

"You might have someone on the other end, a delegate in DVA who's trying their best," Andrew said.

"But they've got to look at what the act is and what the guidelines are that they've got to work under and see how they can manoeuvre inside that to get what they think you need."

"That's hard sometimes, pretty hard."

Andrew joined the army reserve before moving into the army full time.

He trained at various locations around Australia and was deployed to several operations.

He was sent to Iraq in 2004 at the age of 30 and worked closely with the Japanese as a liaison officer.

"Our main role was coordinating between the Australian and British contingents and the Japanese themselves to keep the Japanese construction units safe, so they could do their job." he said.

"Later (in 2010) I went to Afghanistan as part as the artillery training team, we were based in Kabul,"

"We trained up the Afghanis in their basic skills and later I moved across to another base...and we were just attached to them for a short period of time to do some formation training."

Andrew spent nine months in Afghanistan before returning home in 2011.

In the early 2000s, Andrew was injured in an exercise at Shoalwater Bay in Queensland.

He was a forward observer in an armoured personnel carrier during the night when the driver and crew commander failed to see a ditch.

The tank jumped the ditch, but Andrew got flown forward and was "wrapped around the metal" inside the vehicle.

"That injured a few disks in my neck...I didn't know that at the time," he said.

"I was concussed...I didn't know that at the time either. I just kept on going."

In about 2013, Andrew suffered an injury to his neck while undergoing fitness training - it was related to the incident in Shoalwater Bay.

A disk bulged out and was putting pressure on his nerves going to his arm. It also caused problems with his legs.

"I had problems in my neck, (I) was just waiting for something else to happen." Andrew said.

"I had that operated on and then a couple of years later, just through wear and tear, my body gave out...and had many disks in my neck rupture," he said.

In 2016 he was put on a contract within the Army which restricted him to certain duties.

He was medically discharged in 2018.

These days Andrew cannot work as he too is Totally and Permanently Incapacitated.

"Literally my leg can disappear from me and I can be on the ground. My wife hates seeing it."

But where he can, Andrew volunteers at BVAC.

"The beauty about BVAC is that everyone's either served or got injuries and they know you have just got to do what can inside your capacity."

For Phil Jones, returning to Vietnam has been valuable in helping him move forward.

He and his wife Helen have visited several times and two key moments will remain in their memories.

"The second time we went, there was a guy who was a war historian, and he was from the United States and was going around to different sites," Helen said.

"We were standing on the hill where the choppers land, Tit Hill (in Nui Dat). This Vietnamese driver of this other guy walked up to Philip."

The man asked him if he was a veteran. Phil confirmed he was Australian.

"He threw his arms around Philip and he said 'thank-you.' "

But one statement from Phil on a bus during their first trip sums up how going back has given him a sense of closure.

Helen asked him how he felt, because he was so apprehensive to return.

"I don't think Philip realised the significance of his statement," Helen said.

"He just said 'well, I think it's a memory now and not a fear' ".

If you or someone you know is in need of crisis support, phone Lifeline 13 11 14.

Help is also available, but not limited, via the following organisations. The key message is you are not alone.

Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 or beyondblue.org.au

Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467

Soldier On: 1300 620 380

Open Arms: 1800 011 046

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