Breaking the stereotype that 'men will never change'

Cafs (Child and family services Ballarat) has provided a men's behaviour change program for more than 30 years in the city.

Family violence advanced practitioner Karina Joy said any behavior that has a harmful impact on another people could be family violence, including financial, emotional and psychological impacts.

Ballarat's family violence rates has been consistently higher than state rate, according to the official Crime Statistics Agency.

Family violence team leader Ingrid Irwin said Ballarat is "a hotspot for family violence because of the institutional child sexual abuse and the ripple effect over many years".

A total of 2020 family incidents happened in Ballarat in 2023. The number had a significant increase after 2019. Ms Joy said Cafs noticed the spike during the pandemic.

The pandemic put a lot of pressure on relationships, with people juggling working from home, homeschooling and anxiety, Ms Joy added.

Ms Joy said Cafs has supported more than 200 men who use violence in the last financial year through the behaviour change program, and a 14-man group would go through 20 sessions in a minimum of 20 weeks after two assessments.

She said most men in the program are referred through Corrections Victoria.

Working in the family violence area for 17 years, Ms Irwin said the stereotype "men will never change" is a "unhelpful", "negative" and "dangerous" idea.

"It is a self-fulfilling prophecy," she said. "Change is possible. Healing is possible."

Ms Joy said when some men start the program, they sit impatiently in their chairs, saying "this is stupid", why am I here and "what a waste of time".

But over time, Ms Joy said she saw more engagement, contribution to group discussion and reflection on their own behavior.

Ms lrwin said some men had became a role model for other men in a new positive way.

Ms Joy said a huge part of the program was to help men understand the impacts of family violence on children.

Ms Irwin said children are intuitive and they can pick up everything.

"Even if the house is clean - quiet - no one is shouting at each other, they can feel the vibe and the after-effects of family violence."

Ms lrwin said all organisations, including Cafs, were finding it tough to deliver services due to the lack of funding.

"Traditionally all agencies jump at any source of funding or a grant available because we are so hungry for more staff and more resources - but being able to meet the demand is just not possible," Ms lrwin said.

According to Cafs, there are 40 people in the Family Violence and Child Wellbeing team across Cafs and The Orange Door.

Ms lrwin said the issue of staff experiencing vicarious trauma is huge in the family violence supporting area, with a higher staff turnover.

Ms lrwin said it took time to make changes in society and there had been an increase in awareness in the community.

"The small wins end up being bigger wins - we are hoping for a ripple effect," Ms lrwin said.

Ms Irwin said over time, there needs to be a "major overhaul" of how people perceive men and women's behavior, and what a respectful relationship was.

"Let's not hide anything within that family unit, what was previously consider to be domestic - 'let's leave them to their domestic stuff', "she said.

"The domestic is out. It's public now."

People who need support can contact 1800 075 599.