Forget chocolates and red roses, this is St Valentine's sweetest gift

Rolling out of bed takes at least five minutes longer as you ponder the point of capitalism, or where you could have been had you not agreed to the job or had studied something different or, indeed, not studied at all and chosen the life of a nomad.

But some Mondays, it bears emphasising, are worse than others, particularly those that fall on a Valentine's Day that i) had escaped your notice, and ii) coincide with a dawning realisation that no, you're not unambiguously single.

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The situation could, of course, be quickly remedied by red roses, chocolate or discounted perfume from Chemist Warehouse, depending on your priorities. But such options come attached with a heavy disclaimer: all will add to the seamless monotony of your already predictable life.

So, for the unprepared and underwhelmed, today is the day to chance your relationship and gift your significant other a jar of locally produced honey or, still better, a beehive.

Why? It so happens that St Valentine is also the patron saint of beekeepers. Indeed, it is said that Cupid dipped his arrows into honey before (amorously) shooting them at unsuspecting passers-by.

In the event the thoughtfulness of your gift eludes your partner, you could always stick things back together at a workshop on the fundamentals of beekeeping, like that offered by Backyard Beekeeping Ballarat.

Scott Denno, who owns the business plus 90 or so hives with wife Amanda Collins, said the Saturday afternoon workshops focus on every aspect of what is required to master the art of beekeeping and earn the St Valentine stamp of approval.

"We teach our participants how to be a successful beekeeper, from how much time to put into it, legal requirements - such as the aviary code of practice, registration and biosecurity - and how to open and close a hive," Mr Denno said.

For those among us who, through painful experience, perhaps view bees with reasoned caution, fear not: the course particularly concentrates on the rules of engagement vis-à-vis bees.

"We teach that deliberate, slow, methodical movements - movements that are slower than the bee's flight - are key to ensuring we're not seen as a threat from the bee's perspective," Mr Denno said.

"We also use light smoke tinged with pine needles to distract the bees when we want to open a hive, because the smoke triggers an ancient memory in the bee that they might need to leave."

The couple - who accidentally fell in love with beekeeping 10 years ago after fostering a beehive for a friend - also specialise in the sale of genetically superior queen bees. This, they said, was important for improving the ability of the beekeeper to control the colony, given each new bee hatched by the queen is the perfect clone of herself.

"We sell gentle or docile queens to other beekeepers so they can re-queen their hives for traits that are more favourable to recreational beekeeping," Ms Collins said. "Nothing turns off a new beekeeper more than looking after their bees and having to deal with a really aggressive colony.

"You also want a docile queen for your neighbour's sake, so you don't have a colony that causes a nuisance and chases people around."

To the casually mischievous reader: no, the prospect of watching someone you dislike being chased by a colony is not a particularly sound reason to invest in a hive for your partner.

Moving on, another benefit of the workshop, Ms Collins said, was that even if you were to conclude beekeeping was not for you, you would leave armed with the knowledge of what it would take to create a bee-friendly garden.

"We tell people to plant lavender or Australian native species, like banksias and eucalyptus, to really re-wild their garden and to avoid the use of insecticides and weedicides," she said.

"Bees are wonderful for your veggie garden. We have a Queensland blue pumpkin which has been massively productive this year, and it's all thanks to our bees."

And if all that wasn't enough, the level of enthusiasm your partner shows throughout the workshop could very well teach you whether your relationship is to bee or not to bee.

After all, as Ms Collins pointed out, bees are amongst the most selfless creatures on earth - "they all constantly work together for the benefit of future generations".

Anyone who can't appreciate that probably isn't a [bee]keeper.

Click here for more details on Backyard Beekeeping Ballarat's weekend workshops.

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