Anything for a Mate charity ball raising funds for breast cancer research to aid Toni Smith and others fighting the disease

She loved the idea of a charity ball, catching up with mates and having a good time but it didn't sit comfortably with her to ask people for money.

So she made them promise that funds raised would go toward cancer research - the only thing will help her live long enough to see her sons Rafferty, 10, Clancy, 7, and Sullivan, 4, grow up.

"All the money in the world is not going to help me if we can't find a cure for cancer," Ms Smith said.

"For me that's the real priority and that's the way I can be helped, and how other people in my boat can be helped. I've just got to keep hoping and aiming that a cure will happen in the next couple of years."

The fundraiser - the Anything for a Mate Charity Ball at the Ballaarat Mechanics Institute on July 23 - is now sold out but organisers are still seeking donations and prizes for the silent auction.

Ms Smith was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019 after she felt a lump in her left breast. It turned out to be, at that stage, a stage three cancer that had moved in to her lymph nodes.

After having a mastectomy and full lymph node clearance in April 2019, she spent the rest of the year undergoing a mix of chemotherapy and radiation therapy that ended on December 23 - meeting her goal of having it done by Christmas.

"We thought that was my bout with breast cancer done and the follow up tests the following year, everything was looking good."

In late 2020 she started suffering back pain which grew more and more severe despite treatment, until she went to her oncologist asking for a scan to "make sure nothing sinister was going on".

The scans tragically revealed not only had the cancer returned, but it had spread in to her spine and a few spots in her liver.

"It had become stage four breast cancer, which in laymans terms is incurable so we set about attacking as best we could," she said.

"I've got three little boys and my husband, and we know we've got no option but to fight with everything we've got. I can't imagine I won't be here to see them grow up - that's not an option for me."

Having spent most of her life in Ballarat, the family now live in Ocean Grove but make frequent trips back to see family and friends.

On one of those trips before Christmas last year a group of friends proposed their idea for a fundraising charity ball.

"I loved the idea behind it - their thought is we should be seeing the people we love more often, not just leaving it to Christmas catch ups or leaving it until someone turns 40 or 50. We need to make sure we are there for mates, and spending time with our mates.

"The idea is they run this fundraiser to get the chance to catch up with mates and have a really good time, the secondary goal is to raise awareness for not just breast cancer but all cancers, and the third aim was to raise money. The boys suggested that come to me but that didn't sit comfortably with me ... so I suggested yes we do it but the only thing that will help me is research in to cancer, in to a cure for cancer, so we do it as a fundraiser for the National Breast Cancer Foundation."

Anything for a Mate Charity Ball organiser Scott Christie said local businesses had been generous in their support of the charity ball, with all 180 tickets sold out and the event on track to raise a significant sum.

"We thought we could either do nothing, or get off our arse and do something so we started organising the ball.

"If we just hold the event and not one person buys a raffle ticket or auction we are about $11,500 in the black already and we would love to get to $25,000," he said. "Anything for a mate."

Ms Smith now undergoes regular chemotherapy - two weeks on, one week off - at Barwon Health in Geelong and regular scans to ensure the cancer is not spreading further.

"The funny thing about the current treatment is the actual chemo takes about three to five minutes but I have to go and have all the pre-medication and stuff so I'm actually sitting in hospital about two hours," she said.

It has been a rocky first half of the year with around 13 hospital stays of varying length to treat pain and infection.

"The start of this year I had a lot of pain issues which were really severe and I was lucky to be out of bed maybe an hour a day ... but they have fitted me with a pump that delivers constant medication to me via a catheter in the spinal column which has been life-changing for me," she said.

"And I had a really rough trot with infection around Easter where I think i was in hospital five times in seven weeks and those can be anything from two to five or six days which was really tough because they still didn't let kids in to hospital so I had no visitors during my stays since I was rediagnosed last year.

"It's been really hard for the boys because they might wake up in the morning and I'm back in hospital and they don't see me for a week. They can Facetime, but it's not the same."

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Ms Smith and husband Lincoln are careful what information they share with their sons.

"They are very empathetic kids in the way they pick up a lot and they are very gentle and supportive but we've got to be really careful. They know I'm sick, but we've never given them any reason to think there's anything sinister going on and there's going to be anything but happy ending."

But in recent weeks everything has settled down and Ms Smith is enjoying time with family and friends.

"I'm feeling really well and if I didn't know what was going on I wouldn't realise I was sick most of the time."

Anyone wanting to support the Anything for a Mate Charity Ball with donations or auction items can contact 0412501212.

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