WHEN you spend time with Nina Fitzsimons art, she wants it to emanate her joy rather than reflect her trauma.
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Five years ago, Fitzsimons was swept up in an immigration raid on her workplace in Indonesia. As a permanent Indonesian resident, Fitzsimons had the correct visa but six of her colleagues did not and were sent into a detention centre.
Fitzsimons became guarantor for her colleague who had been breastfeeding twins, allowing her to go home at night, but had to take her place. Fitzsimons' passport was seized and she became the official translator and fellow detainee by default.
Their hopes were pinned on Fitzsimons.
After four days of a horror-filled and degrading experience, filled with bullying and fear, deportation papers were waved in Fitzsimons' face and her colleagues were threatened with jail.
Their employer had been promising support but instead turned and told the group they were on their own.
Anger from the experience is an emotion Fitzsimons still grapples with.
"We managed to secure our own release at great personal expense," Fitzsimons said. "We were told by our employer if we let anyone know the resolution, our jobs would be in jeopardy.
"This total betrayal and lack of duty of care led me to spiral mentally. I fell into a deep depression and suffered anxiety. It took an enormous toll on all of us.
"I realised that I would need to do something to mend myself and this is when I got into lino printing."
Fitzsimons' family have long considered her an artist, despite her chief executive roles in international development in Indonesia, juggling her young family with large scale development programs helping the poor.
She said her identity had become wrapped up in leading multi-million dollar organisations.
Once you have been a chief executive officer, Fitzsimons said there was a perception you would never work any lower rank.
She was not "sufficiently established" as an artist to make it her whole career, but in Ballarat Fitzsimons has found a different pace in her new role as The Ballarat Foundation's community impact manager.
After almost 25 years helping others in Indonesia, Fitzsimons finds she can finally give back to her home community and help people in Ballarat.
But art has been her avenue for true healing.
A Christmas card in 2019 from a friend in Canada featured a lino print that piqued Fitzsimons' interest.
Carving for Fitzsimons was meditative. She focused on the beauty of simple things around her and practised techniques learnt from YouTube.
"I looked at a lot of other people's artwork. I tried skies, that really wasn't me; I tried landscapes," Fitzsimons said. "I realised when I had a personal connection with what I was drawing, the carving would flow."
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Fitzsimons' first solo exhibition Stuck Inside is a collection of things that brought her joy during COVID-19 lockdowns. There are plenty of pictures of the neighbours' pets relaxing in front of bright textiles and Moroccan-inspired backgrounds crafted purely because Fitzsimons loved playing with such features.
You can see the chickens Fitzsimons rescued from an earthquake disaster near Yogyakarta. One of the villagers had cataracts and her residence, which she shared with the chickens crumbled.
They might look like chickens from anywhere, but memories helping them makes Fitzsimons smile.
There is a depiction of a succulent Fitzsimons calls Pretend Orchid - after having trouble growing an orchid in the tropics, her son suggested she might be more suited to a succulent by gifting her one.
Home for Fitzsimons has long been Ballarat. After growing up in Zimbabwe, her family moved to western district town Casterton when Fitzsimons was about 11 years old. She struggled to understand the broad accent of her new peers.
Fitzsimons moved to boarding school in Ballarat and her family gradually shifted to town where they have remained since.
She bought a house in Soldiers Hill and kept it, even through her time living in Indonesia.
Her sons considered themselves Australian but did not spend much time in the country apart from family visits.
Fitzsimons felt it was time to return home in 2023 for her youngest son to complete his VCE. Her eldest had struggled to convert his studies into university entrance scores he had wanted.
She said their adjustment to Australian life had seemed more seamless than her own.
Fitzsimons' art has been her constant.
It was her psychologist who gave her the nudge to launch a solo exhibition when an opportunity opened up at the Old Butcher's Shop Gallery, off Seymour Street.
Her print runs have been limited because Fitzsimons always felt they would always be for her.
All proceeds from Fitzsimons' exhibition will be donated to The Ballarat Foundation, in a way for Fitzsimons to keep giving back.
Stuck Inside opens at the Old Butcher's Shop Gallery on Saturday, March 9. It will be open to view between noon and 4pm each weekend until March 31.