SHOCK, upheaval and trauma in entering fatherhood might still be prevalent but the "days of denial" are gradually disappearing, St John of God Raphael Services leader says.
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Most male referrals for perinatal depression and anxiety to the regional support service come from wives and partners who note "he's not travelling well" with a newborn.
St John of God Raphael Services Victorian west manager Danny Stone said men were getting better at talking with each other, and to professionals for help.
Mr Stone said men still often needed to realise parenting - including the whole pregnancy journey leading up - could be exceptionally challenging and difficult and having some "down days" were normal.
There can be a lot of 'I was going to do all this' and then finding you can't do that with a newborn.
- Danny Stone, St John of God Raphael Services Victoria west manager
"There can be the stress of getting pregnant, being pregnant and then having the baby and sometimes people don't realise the toll," Mr Stone said.
"Often young men starting a family are also trying to build careers and trying to buy their first home...There can be a lot of 'I was going to do all this' and then finding you can't do that with a newborn.
"It's also really interesting how much stuff you suddenly have to take with you when you duck down the street with a new baby. Everything is a production and it can all be extremely stressful."
Dr Stone also said there was greater awareness on the challenges for women undergoing IVF attempts but less talked about was how confronting this can be for males in supporting their partners, sometimes for years, in trying to fall pregnant. He said both parents often felt regrets for what they could do better as parents after wanting a child for such a long period.
St John of God Raphael Services is running a Healthy Men, Healthy Minds photo competition this week for Men's Health Week. The aim is to share photos of a child with a significant male in their lives to raise awareness of men's perinatal mental health and the free support available to dads who might be struggling.
Mr Stone said greater access and improved services via telehealth had proven particularly vital in better supporting men in regional areas.
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While there are Raphael Services based in Ballarat and Bendigo, Mr Stone said it was not always practical for parents to travel from further afield in regional Victoria.
"For example, travelling from Stawell can be ridiculous when you are already distressed. We're really able to access more and more people," Mr Stone said.
"This is particularly helpful too for engaging with men on their lunch breaks or tradies who finish work earlier in the day. It's not always achievable for a farmer to take off a whole day but we can beam into their lounge room.
"...We have a rural focus, but this reach is much broader than that. We can go into the Mallee and Wimmera where we know there is a lot of need."
Raphael Services are not directly part of St John of God Ballarat Hospital but can be found nearby in Wexford Place on Webster Street. To enter the photo competition: sjog.org.au/healthymen.
If you or someone you know is in need of crisis support, phone Lifeline 13 11 14.
Mensline is available on 1300 789 978 or mensline.org.au
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